Victoria Bitter (victoriabitter) wrote,
Victoria Bitter

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And the Obligatory Oscar Post goes to....VB's LiveJournal!

Finally got around to typing up Oscar notes and theorum...

* Sean and Lij were adorable in their little interview-thing on the Red Carpet. Someone finally seems to have told Lij that as an international celebrity, he can afford a tux that fits, and that he and bow ties were just Not Meant To Be. He's also looking better than he has recently...a little more fair and less pale, a little more slender and less gaunt. Looks like filming the new movie has been just what he needs after all the stressful publicizing of LOTR. Sean, as always, was cute as a button - so excited, and I loved seeing him go into gushy-utterly-unselfconscious-Daddy-mode - and I have such a thing for nurturing guys who can also be crazy little boys. *looks pointedly at Ozzie Bloke whom I know is reading this*

* Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Rings....Sean, sweetie, you read my mind!

* Only Whoopi Goldberg could arrive at the Oscars wearing a dead bird on her arse without winding up next to Bjork on the Wrath of Joan Rivers top ten list. Sexy beast indeed! You go!

* We won best makeup! So well deserved...while both the old age makeups in Beautiful Mind and the fantasy beauty makeups in Moulin Rouge were very well executed, they're nothing new. The crew of LOTR created an entire new type of gelatin appliance to use for their Elf and Hobbit ears and wizard noses, and above and beyond that, the sheer scope of doing hundreds of completely individual Orcs and thousands of hobbit feet and effects makeup of some kind on every actor to cross the screen....

* But really, what's with the fringe?

* Loved the Harry Potter/LOTR skit with Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller...but excuse me, I think that soft but distinctly shocked sound I just heard was Legolas fainting. Gimli is NOT an Elf.

* Lost Film Editing. Can't fuss, as don't know the category well.

* Lost Best Costume. I'm not happy, of course, but it was a fair fight, and besides, we have two more years to get to the really spectacular stuff, so I reckon the Academy figured that it wouldn't be right to overlook such a costume spectacular as Moulin Rouge when they could still give Dickson her dues next year. I kind of agree with them.

* Lost Best Art Direction. Again, not happy, because the sets that turned NZ into ME were just so incredible...Hobbiton made me cry, dammit. But Moulin Rouge depended on its sets far more than the average movie, and again, you have that whole two-more-still-to-go thing for LOTR.

* Won Best Cinematography. So, so, so deserved. This movie was an eyegasm.

* Like everyone else, must make obligatory squee about Nick and Ian. So glad to see that the GFTK hasn't stopped them being affectionate openly!

* Leslie such a geek. Sweet geek. I love this movie. So full of geeky boys, and not a pretentious arsehole in sight.

* Halle Berry took to the stage
Her speech was written in verse
Though both were things of beauty
Her rhythm could not have been worse

* Cirque de Reminds you what the human body is capable of without bluescreen.

* Won for best visual effects. So deserved. The other movies were good, but their effects shots looked like effects shots. So much harder to seamlessly blend fantasy elements into a natural, rugged landscape and to make normal-sized actos seamlessly interact at fucked-up scale.

* Lost best Sound. Don't know enough about this to bitch.

* Lost best Song. VB is not happy with the LOTR people here. Look, I make music vids as a hobby. Simple, chesy little vids that just run one clip after another behind a song. Rather like they did at the Oscars. Except they paid someone a lot of money to make that montage that ran behind Enya, and IMHO, they utterly botched it. Here was an opportunity to showcase the song with the movie, to show how insightfully it had been written to capture the essence of the journey. Well-chosen clips could have connected them in a delicate and moving manner:

A promise lives within you now
Boromir falls, riddled with arrows, shock from M/P
Aragorn kisses him as he dies
Aragorn buckles on the gauntlets with the White Tree

A promise lives within you now
Sam in the cornfield
The hand clasp
The hug in the boat

Instead, we get:

A promise lives within you now
Helicopter shot of the River and the Fellowship going by the Argonath
A promise lives within you now
More Argonath

Nothing but helicopter shots and pretty landscape! No story, no POV, no emotional arc, only incidental attachment to the lyrics. It wasn't a music vid, it was a fucking advertisement for the NZ travel beaurea!

* Oh, and Enya looked nervous

* Ah well, it's not like we had a chance. They aren't going to make Randy Newman the losingest man in Oscar History. Like him too much, and for good reason. And we have two years to go...

* Pissed off that hobbitself snubbed from attending.

* Howard Shore won for Best Score! SO deserved!

* Halle Berry's speech...*sniffle*

* Best Actor...a.k.a. "Beautiful Mind Learns To Eat Crowe" or "Nice Guys Don't Always Finish Last."

* Sidney...all I can say is yes.

* Best Adapted Screenplay...the category we SHOULD have won, but I understand why we didn't. Yes, LOTR did the impossible,,,they turned the Book That Could Not Be Adapted To Film into a damned good film. But there's a reason no one thought LOTR could be adapted. It's unweildy as hell. 1000+ pages that ain't no light Sunday reading. What percentage of the Academy do you think has actually read LOTR? Not that I think they've read "Beautiful Mind" either, but the subject matter is fairly simple, and anyone who's watched enough Lifetime movies generally considers themselves a pop psychiatrist of sorts. So they knew enough about schitzophrenia to nod sagely at Beautiful Mind, whereas LOTR made them shit themselves, because it made them face the Great Fear...Looking Stupid.

See, if they voted for Beautiful Mind, all they had to deal with was the old "glossing over" debate. With LOTR, they'd face fanboys speaking Elvish who would write colums about how dare they vote for LOTR for Best Adapted when they left out Tom Bombadil and moved Boromir's death scene and switched Glorfindel for Arwen! And the Academy, not knowing who Tom Bombadil or Glorfindel are, cannot give a good comeback or justify their choice without admitting they didn't read the book and hence Looking Stupid. This, of course, must be avoided at all costs. On the plus side, however, I think that they won't be able to get away with this for the next two's too obvious. ROTK will likely take it.

* Best Supporting Actor, Best Picture and Best Director: We lost, and I nodded and was completely unsurprised. Indeed, I wouldn't have voted for these to win myself, rabid nutter fan though I am. Why? Because I haven't seen the movie yet. LOTR is not like the Star Wars or Indiana Jones trilogies. It is basically one massive nine to twelve hour movie being released in chapters. It is a single creative process done in a single shoot - albiet an epic one - and should be treated as such, therefore it would be utterly unfair to give more than one Oscar to LOTR for Best Picture, Best Director, or Best Actor/Actress/Supporting Actor/Supporting Actress in any of the overarching roles. Sean Bean for Boromir as BSA I could have understood and voted for, but not Serena. His best Gandalf may well be yet to come in the next two movies, and then what?" Yeah, the fangirl in me wants to say "two Oscars" but the actress in me asks how I'd feel if I watched an actor take home multiple Oscars for a single creative process. It would be like getting two Medals of Honour for being shot in for the entrance wound, one for the exit wound. It's the Looking Stupid factor again. What if they give PJ his Best Director and Serena his BSA and everyone Best Picture...then TTT comes along in December and makes FOTR look like "Freddy Got Fingered." And then ROTK blows that out of the water? No, me, I'd nominate them all three years, just to make it clear that I'm not overlooking the amazing work they've done, but I'd hold out on the actual awards until I'd seen all three. And then, if any of the three parts were deserving of Best Director, Best Acting, or Best Picture, I'd give the award to ROTK, because through that, I'd be awarding all the movie.

* Oscars too long. We do not need a mini-movie for EVERY FUCKING CATEGORY.

With that...g'night.
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